August 09, 2023Tips + Tricks
How to Write Cards Addressing Loss
When someone experiences a loss or death, it's natural to want to reach out to that person and offer support. However, the pressure to reach out, coupled with not knowing what to say, can result in messages filled with clichés, or leave you feeling overwhelmed. As a continuation of my series on cardwriting, I wanted to research some ways to break down the process of writing sympathy cards to make it more approachable. I wanted to help uncover the best way to convey the support we all want to send to a grieving friend or loved one. Here are 3 key steps I found:
1. Avoid Cliches
We use cliches because we've heard them before; they feel safe and comfortable. Be vulnerable and honest, whether it's that you don't know what to say or that you just want them to know you are here for them. Acknowledge their loss with sincerity by stating that you are willing to walk alongside them in their grief even if you don't know what that looks like.
2. Focus on Their Feelings
It is good to share a specific or special memory you have of their loved one. However, avoid recounting your own experiences with loss. Every loss is different, so be sure to avoid comparisons or observations about the process of grief.
3. Offer Specific Help
It's common to write "let me know if you need anything." However, it can be hard for grieving people to ask or know what they need. Consider making specific offers of help, such as "I would like to mow the grass for you." or "I've made a meal and would like to drop it by your porch this weekend." Avoid pressing to visit, but instead offer help without any expectations.
In a digitally-centered world, it is more important than ever to reach out to people when they are experiencing grief. Reaching out with sincerity and care shows you want to stand alongside them and reminds them they are loved. It truly doesn't matter if you have a beautiful greeting card or simple scrap sheet of paper, but sending a handwritten note will mean a lot to them and be something they can keep to revisit as they walk through the grieving process.
It is never easy to find the right words when it comes to loss. I hope you've found these tips to be helpful. If you have feedback, please
reach out.
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